Dinner with Fabio

Should've been Saturday, 22 november, but hey I'm in school here too, ya know!!

videos coming soon

Let me just start by saying that if a picture is worth a thousand words, then a video leaves me speechless…almost. Basically, what I’m going to tell you now is a true story; no names have been changed to protect the innocent. There is however, a video, which will be available soon so please check back. Until then, in the words of our favorite Russian, ‘please have a pleasure.’

Tonight was epic. I was officially invited to the home of Fabio Sau, my favorite Italian, for an official Fabio meal. Now, there are a few things you need to understand about Fabio. First, he is from the beautiful island of Sardigna, which is apparently the jewel of Italy. Second, he is a creature of habit. Every day he sprints in the morning in the proper manner so that his toes land first and not his heels. If you were an athlete (as Fabio is) you would understand that this is the correct way to run and allows for a short but intensive workout that fully conditions your whole leg. Third, every morning after his run, Fabio enjoys a delightful meal of biscuits (pronounced ‘bisquits’), honey and milk. After a hard day of learning about subsystems engineering or inflatable hab modules at the ISU, he takes a break precisely at 1300 for his daily trip to McDonald’s. Here he enjoys a Chicken Premier and Fish Sandwich complete avec frites et Coca. His company varies daily for his lunch routine. Fabio keeps life simple (???) and his dinner and breakfast are identical.

Several have heard of the sacred breakfast/dinner ritual and many have even watched, but few have intrepidly joined in the feast he assures us is “blessed.” If the Promised Land is flowing with milk and honey, then dinner with Fabio Sau is divine.

When I arrived at precisely 8 pm Samedi soir, Fabio was waiting for me. The ritual begins with Fabio moving all the elements of the meal including milk, creamy honey, fibre biscuits and instant thé lemon mix from the refrigerator (on top or inside as the case may be) to the table. About now Fabio informs me that he never washes his dish or glass because he has no time. Beth (see previous entries, cool Canadian chick, also roommate of Fabio) and I try to convince him that this is disgusting. Since I’m a first timer and he’s trying to be civilized, he gets a new dish. Beth implies that I should hang out more often. J Fabio starts arranging the pieces on the table and mixing up some instant lemon tea that looks like dirt and Fabio tells me smells like dead animal carcass. Lovely!

Finally situated, we begin. Fabio was a gracious host and thorough instructor. Step by step he walked me through the process of applying honey in the proper amounts to the fiber biscuits (which are like huge croutons) to make a perfect sandwich. The first one, I quickly learned is different than the following ones, for during the first snack, we plunge it into the brimming bowl of milk mixed with 2 teaspoons of sugar for no more than ten seconds. After this you scarf it down. Now it picks up pace and the beginners are separated from the experienced. It should be noted that at this juncture we had to each get our own pile of biscuits because as Fabio so delicately informed me, there was no way I’d keep up and would most likely slow him down. Fair enough.

So with our separate stacks, he taught me that the next round comes in threes. Three sandwiches with honey applied more “faster” and all stacked and immersed in the milk simultaneously. Now, with the left hand securing (and sinking) the tri-stack in the milk, I followed orders and destroyed the bisquits into quarters. The game was on. Now it was all about eating. No worries of slurping or spilling or sticky fingers; just eat all your biscuits as fast and as noisily as humanly possible. I’m so sorry to say, but can you imagine? I lost. I could only eat one more of the delicious but extremely sweet tasty treats that Fabio and his little brother were raised on in the beautiful land of Italy. However, despite my feeble attempt at successful completion of my biscuit stockpile, Fabio inducted me into the breakfast club. I am so proud to announce that I was the first one to taste the complete meal of my friend, Fabio Sau.

It was a beautiful night and a beautiful meal with witty conversation ranging from the misguided notions of Van Braun concerning women in the space program, bit torrent and of course Fabio’s favorite topic, America.

Good night all and my sincerest thanks to Fabio for the opportunity to experience such a treat!