25 things

Seems like I never update...it's hit and miss...like so much of life. But today, let me again borrow my friend's model for a list of things I'm grateful for corresponding to the date of the month:

1. My grandma's 90 amazing years of life
2. Her fried chicken
3. The weepies "Somebody Loved" song
4. Mary's photo-shoot of our family - all four gens present
5. My kid sister that's taller than me...her nearly 19 years of life post heart-transplant
6. Dana. his unconditional love of me in my unaltered and imperfect state.
7. His constancy
8. Trails' vanilla cokes (always makes the list)
9. Seeing old friends during the holidays (and all their new kids!)
10. Knowing I'm His despite vastness of the chasm that sometimes seems to separate us
11. Patty Griffin's "Heavenly Day"
12. My mom's special Christmas garments
13. Clothes shopping with my sis
14. Crina's perfect man
15. Mara's Cabbage Rolls
16. Playing Spite & Malice with my Gram (card game)
17. RIP to Ruthie - our other card player who died this year (who constantly called me a cheater when I was winning)
18. The furry friends in my life that always listen, love and never judge (Josh, Casey & Capt)
19. Family
20. Snowball fights & Snowmen in the desert
21. Grandpa's stories
22. Home
23. Hanging with Holly
24. Adventures with Maria
25. Stacey & Liz -without which my work life would be a dreary windowless experience

Mr. P.

Today I went to a funeral for childhood friend's father that passed away at the unfortunate and early age of 48. On the way to my seat, I talked to the father of yet another childhood friend. The last time I saw him was at his son's funeral. Everyone is so grown up now. I remember when the wife of the deceased was pregnant with her youngest. She looked to be about 14 now. I thought about all the kids I used to babysit in this town. Went to one of their funerals as well, a few years back.

As I sat in the tiny, crowded chapel in the middle of our small desert town, I wondered about all these funerals. How many more would I attend before someone would attend my own? Does living in a small town mean that more people you've encountered, loved, or known along the way died or simply that you attend more of their funerals? Maybe the same amount of people that you intersect with die, but you just aren't as aware of it if you live in a big city or move around a lot. I'm not sure, it just seems like a lot of people in my world have been dying lately.

Yesterday was my birthday. The party is this evening. Today we mourned a death. Tonight we celebrate a life. I guess that why they call life a cycle based on the ebbs and flows; the ups and downs; and all that falls in between. The awareness of death tempers the joy of life. And, I suppose, conversely, that those moments of beauty, fun, and mystery give us something to cling to when we're sombered and scared by death.

All I know right now is that the death part sucks.

So, to my friend that lost her father and to my friend that lost her husband today:

I'm so sorry...

Image Credit: http://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc179/abigail47/cross.jpg